“I’m Not Good Enough”: Challenging the Inner Critic

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough”?

This thought can quietly shape how we show up in the world—affecting how we speak to ourselves, take risks, and connect with others.

“I’m Not Good Enough”: Challenging the Inner Critic with AE Therapy, Angelica Esposito | EMDR Burlington

The belief “I’m not good enough” often starts early. It may begin when we’re criticized, overlooked, or made to feel like we need to earn love or acceptance. Over time, that feeling can turn into a belief—and eventually, into a story we tell ourselves.

How It Shows Up

This belief can be sneaky. It might sound like:

• “Everyone else has it together. Why can’t I?”

• “If I try and fail, they’ll see I’m a fraud.”

• “They’re just being nice. They don’t really mean it.”

It can lead to overworking, people-pleasing, avoiding risks, or staying silent when we want to speak up. Even when others affirm us, we might still feel like impostors.

Where It Comes From

Self-beliefs don’t appear out of nowhere. They often form in response to environments where emotional safety or validation was missing. For example:

• Being praised only for achievements—not effort or who we are

• Growing up in a family where emotions were dismissed

• Facing discrimination, bullying, or chronic comparison

These experiences can plant the seed that who we are isn’t enough. So we try harder. Do more. Or shrink ourselves to fit in.

What You Can Do

If this belief is familiar to you, here are a few gentle ways to begin shifting it:

1. Name it.

Start by noticing when the “I’m not good enough” narrative pops up. Labeling it as a thought—not a truth—can create a bit of space.

2. Ask whose voice it is.

Often, that inner critic doesn’t even belong to us. Is it echoing a parent, teacher, partner, or cultural message?

3. Talk back.

Once you notice it, try responding with compassion:

“I hear you. But I’m learning that I am enough, even when I struggle.”

4. Practice receiving.

When someone offers you a compliment or kindness, try not to deflect it. Pause. Breathe. Say “thank you.” Let it land.

5. Get curious about your strengths.

You’ve come this far—despite challenges. What does that say about your strength, your values, or your persistence?

Addressing “I’m Not Good Enough” with EMDR

If this belief feels deeply rooted or connected to past experiences, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be a highly effective approach. EMDR helps process and reframe painful memories and negative self-beliefs that continue to impact the present. Through a structured process, it supports the brain in integrating these experiences more adaptively—often leading to a noticeable reduction in the emotional charge and intensity of the belief.

Clients often report that, after EMDR, they no longer feel the belief in the same way—and can begin to genuinely experience themselves as worthy, competent, and enough.

You Are Already Enough

Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never hear that critical voice again—it means learning not to believe everything it says. You are allowed to take up space, to have needs, to rest, and to be seen.

If this belief is impacting your life, therapy can offer a safe and supportive space to explore it. Together, we can work to unlearn the stories that no longer serve you—and begin building ones that reflect who you truly are.

Because you were never meant to prove your worth—only to remember it.